Dear Texas,
You know, clearly things are just going too well in the country right now, would you mind sending us another of your super-conservative, fundamentalist-Christian, yahoo governors?
Thanks,
The Editors here at Standard Kink
P.S.
In other news, we here at Standard Kink have officially fired Iowa from being a state. If Canada or Mexico or France or Chile or Luxemburg, or really any other country out there would like Iowa, please feel free to start redrawing your maps and updating you civics books. Over here in America we have already begun building a wall around the former state of Iowa. For the time being, please enjoy this article from the Borowitz Report.
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