Monday, August 18, 2014

Unavoidable Irony.

I hate to be a proselytizing, new-age hippie, but this is the trailer for a documentary about two of the guys whose blog I read. They’re - like - THE Minimalist guys.

I’m SO EXCITED to get a GIANT bucket of popcorn and go to an over-priced, arthouse theater in LA and pay $30 bucks to watch this thing!


Sunday, August 17, 2014

Things I Did(n't) Do Today.

Things I did today:

- Laundry.
- Looked for an onion.
- Failed to find an onion.
- Asked the guy at Office Max to just give me some tape.
- Thought about showering.

Things I did not do today:

- Shower.
- Make food.
- Download the syllabuses (syllabi?) for my classes.
- Pay any of my bills.
- Email that professor I need to email.
- Buy a vacuum.
- Research post-grad programs.
- Submit stories out for publication.
- Go to the gym.
- Run.
- Call my mother.
- Make a meaningful effort to become a better person.
- Go to bed at a reasonable hour.
- Tell all of the people in my life who I love, that I love them.
- Work on that half-written screenplay I have been working on for four years.
- Make even the smallest amount of progress toward the sort of life that it would be respectable for a man my age to be living at this particular point.
- Shave.


Depravity and Wonder.

I’m reading an essay by Michael Chabon entitled “Fan Fictions: On Sherlock Holmes”. It is in his collection of essays Maps and Legends and I just came across a line I wanted to share with you, “Secret sharers, deception and disguise, imposture, buried shame and repressed evil, madwomen in the attic, the covert life of London, the concealment of depravity and wonder beneath the dull brick facade of the world”

Here he is talking about the motifs of Victorian literature, but I think that something about revealing “the concealment of depravity and wonder beneath the dull brick facade of the world” might as well be part of a writer’s job description. I would have just highlighted the line, but this is a library book and they keep yelling at me for doing that! So instead I am making a note of it here.

Oh! and just in case you are trying to decide if it is pretentious of me to be reading - for fun, no less - an essay by Pulitzer Prize Winner Michael Chabon in which he opines on the writing proclivities of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, well then let me just save you some time: Yes, it is HUGELY pretentious. But that’s not why I’m doing it, I’m doing it because I like the way Chabon writes and because reading his nonfiction is a lot like the experience of hanging out with a hugely intelligent, slyly funny, but ultimately well-mannered college professor.

If I was going to be pretentious I would tell you about the time I read a Jonathan Lethem piece in Granta about the work of John Cassavetes. Even I had to not talk to me for awhile after that.


Saturday, August 9, 2014

Pants Apology.

Do you think that the laundering process is psychologically damaging for clothes? I’ve got to imagine that the washing machine in particular is a dark, churning, drowning terror. I’m certainly glad that I am not clothes. Now I feel bad for my pants.



I just happened to check my blog stats (which is something I do when I want to feel bad about myself) and this blog has started getting hits from Ukraine. The editors here at Standardkink would like to welcome all of our new readers in Ukraine and ask, “Don’t you people have like WAY better things to be doing right now?!”



Here is a rap I just wrote about my cat, because apparently I no longer have the ability to feel shame.

My name is The Kitten and I’m just gonna say,
I sleep away
most of my day.
I eat some food and then I take a nap
and then I take a nap
and then I take a nap.
I’ll bite your face,
you got a problem with that?