Sunday, March 26, 2017

Vignette City 7.

*** ‘Vignette City’ is an ongoing project of daily writing and urban photography ***





I read in the newspaper this morning that last night the city council passed a resolution stating that all new concrete poured within the city limits may contain no more than 16% pulverized human bone. The resolution passed by a voice vote of 3 to 2.

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Saturday, March 25, 2017

Vignette City 6.

*** ‘Vignette City’ is an ongoing project of daily writing and urban photography ***




Danny came by my cubicle right as I got back with my mug of super hot water for my tea and was dipping the tea bag in and moving it up and down, which is something that I really like to do in the mornings and he just started talking without even saying hello, but that’s how he is, and he asked if I had any of the kittens left. So I opened the top drawer of my desk and all eight of them were in there just mewing and doing those adorable little fluff ball somersaults that they do and I just pointed at the drawer, but Danny was doing that thing he does where he doesn’t look you in the eye when he talks, or really even look at you at all. He always looks kind of up and away, like there’s a car crash or something that just happened in the middle distance and it’s really annoying because it makes me nervous.

“Because I have been thinking about it a lot,” he was saying, “and I think that I would like to have a kitten.” And for me that was good, because kittens don’t stay kittens very long and my desk isn’t very big, but part of me was a little sad because I was just thinking about what is life going to be like for this poor little kitten, living in whatever weird Rain Man kind of clean room Danny lives in. He’s probably a germaphobe and germaphobes aren’t actually afraid of germs, they’re usually afraid of something else. So what is Danny going to do about the litter box or cat hair on everything? He doesn’t seem like a cat guy to me. He’s one of those people who should have a lizard or a really fancy fish tank or something That would be more his style.

“So do you have any left?” He asked again because he hadn’t looked down at them, I guess.

So I said, “Yes Danny.”

And he paid in cash, which was great because I was afraid he was going to want to write a check, because he just seems like that kind of guy, but he gave me cash and I just grabbed one of the kittens and he took it and put it in the pocket of his shirt and he didn’t say thank you or anything, he just said, “Okay” and then turned around and walked off.

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Friday, March 24, 2017

Vignette City 5.


*** ‘Vignette City’ is an ongoing project of daily writing and urban photography ***




Today is the day! I’m getting my new Gibbons today and I’m so excited! The Gibbon enclosure has been pretty sad since Miller and Henry mauled each other to death last month. Gibbons aren’t usually that violent, but their teeth are just so intense, you know? Once they get started it’s just munch, thrash, blood, shriek, snap, and rip, you know?

Lenny let me borrow a couple of his Macaques, which was really sweet of him, I should do something nice for him once this all gets sorted out. The thing is though that nobody who’s really paying attention would ever confuse a Macaque for a Gibbon. The arms are all wrong, and the tails, and the hands. I moved the food to the back corner of the enclosure, behind the bushes, that way people can kind of see something moving around back there, but can’t really make anything out. That seems to be doing the trick for now. I’ll just be happy when all this is over, you know?

It was stressful enough having to get rid of the bodies. Two wet, bloody, torn apart Gibbon corpse in the trunk of my car. I’m never going to get the carpet in there clean again. But today is the day. I’ll go pick up the new one’s on my lunch break and as long as I get them in from the employee parking lot without anybody seeing, I’ll be home free. That’s right, home free.

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Thursday, March 23, 2017

Vignette City 4.


*** ‘Vignette City’ is an ongoing project of daily writing and urban photography ***


The news says The Mayor is upset again. Apparently his plan to build a wall around the city would cost more money than the city has. He posted a video in the middle of the night and he started by talking about the wall and how it would keep us safe, but partway through he seemed to get distracted by something and he started talking about a TV show and then he got up and went to his desk to get something, but then he seemed to forget what he was looking for and he just started cleaning dust off the pile of papers on his desk. And then he just pushed all the papers onto the floor and set them on fire. But the fire set off the smoke alarm and people rushed into his office and started blasting the pile with white jets from fire extinguishers and on the video I could hear him yelling, “What is this?! This is TERRIBLE! Somebody started a fire in here! Do you see this fire?” But by then the fire was out and I couldn’t really see anything on screen except for the gritty fogbanks of white extinguisher plumes floating around The Mayor’s office. “How am I supposed to get anything done in here?” The Mayor bellowed at someone, though it was unclear who.

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Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Vignette City 3.

*** ‘Vignette City’ is an ongoing project of daily writing and urban photography ***


If this weather keeps up I should take Sasha out to the riverfront park this weekend when her dad drops her off. Since he gets her all week, he has to deal with all the “parenting” stuff, which is fine by me because I was never any good at it anyway. Let Adam deal with all that. I’m the fun one anyway. That’s why I’m happy to have the weekends. I’ll maybe go get some food - bread and stuff - on Friday night and I’ll make some sandwiches and we’ll go sit and watch the river and maybe I can even tan a little That would be nice. To have warm skin for once. Sasha will like it. She can run after the ducks and geese and maybe I’ll meet one of those fit runners. There are always runners darting around down there on their tight skinny legs. I’ve never been with a man that fit before. How would you like that Adam? Me and my new runner man? See what good shape he’s in?
I could have taken Sasha down there last weekend, I guess. Or the weekend before, but the weather has been so dark for so long, and plus the dragons have been out lately. I hate it when those alerts go out because it makes my phone buzz in this super loud and crazy way. It woke me up the other day and scared me half to death.
What kind of peanut butter does Sasha like? I don’t think it has ever come up. Not to me anyway. Maybe I should get both kinds. Or that kind that already has the jelly mixed into it. But what kind of jelly? This is getting complicated already and it’s not even Friday yet.


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Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Vignette City 2.


*** ‘Vignette City’ is an ongoing project of daily writing and urban photography ***


I’ve been reading this book about Marco Polo and it turns out he wasn’t real. I was reading it on the train and got to the part where he said that he encountered these people who weren’t people-shaped. They were shaped like feet. Feet and an ankle I guess, but with faces and little arms sprouting off from the ankles and I was all like, “Well this seems not real”, so I flipped ahead in the book and it turns out that there’s no record of Marco Polo actually existing in Venice and he isn’t mentioned by any of the Chinese scribes who were famous for writing everything down, and that the book he wrote he didn’t even write, it was written by a guy named Rustichello da Pisa who basically only ever wrote legends of King Arthur and stuff like that. But then we got Downtown and it was my stop but I was kind of pissed, so I just left that book on the seat and I got off to head to work, but I mentally added him to the list I keep of fake people who were liars: Shakespeare, Betty Crocker, Jesus, Robin Hood, Homer, the Brontosaurus, Prester John. It’s amazing that anybody expects anybody to get anything done when so much is fake.    

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