I’ve mentioned that I’m working on a minimizing project that involves going through old notebooks and such.
I just came across some funny notes. My friend Mike the Director had the idea once that we should make a few shorts parodying those “most interesting man alive” commercials. It was fun to come up with stuff for the idea. The idea was this:
THE LEAST INTERESTING MAN ALIVE!
I don’t always drink beer, but when I do …
… It’s because I like the twist-off caps.
… I’m usually alone … so alone.
… I drink lots of water after and wait several hours before driving.
… it’s usually at a barbeque or something. You know, if someone offers.
… I still go to bed early so that I can get a good night’s sleep.
… I tend to lash out at whomever is around me.
… honestly, I don’t really drink beer.
Remember that the commercials had voiceover that was unconnected to the visuals, so for visuals here, just imagine that he is intensely cleaning his stapler. On a saturday night.
HE IS (beat) THE LEAST INTERESTING MAN ALIVE:
- When he wakes in the mornings, his dreams don’t remember him ...
- His cat’s smugness is due to the fact it is actually superior, not just the fact that it is a cat …
- He doesn’t mind waiting for the cable guy. He wasn’t really doing anything anyway …
- If the Olympics created a stapler-cleaning event, he still wouldn’t be good enough at it to qualify …
- When he dances, people go out of their way not to notice …- A noted astrophysicist once compared his personality to the the emptiness of space ...