Thursday, August 8, 2013

That Time I was a Bad Blogger.

Because I am a terrible blogger, here are some of the things that have happened lately that I had meant to tell you about except that I kept getting distracted by bumblebees or shiny things:

- That time I ripped my pants dancing.
- That time I didn’t go to Las Vegas.
- That time I ran like eleven miles.
- That time I was (nearly) attacked by a goose.
- That time I went to Ikea alone and everybody looked at me like I was the saddest and loneliest person in the whole world.
- That time my car broke down.
- That other time my car broke down.
- That time I wanted to bitch that it was too hot to go camping.
- That time I had the best chicken ceasar salad in the world!
- That time I stumbled into a homeless camp while I was out for a run.
- That other time I stumbled into a homeless camp while I was out for a run.
- That time I decided to be more careful about where I go running.
- That time I went to that museum where they had this cool box that you pumped and then it ejected a smell like flowers!
- That time I sort of drunkenly berated a capitalist who was just trying to hit on my friends by telling them how many cars he owns.
- That time my cat ran away and I was sad until I discovered it had been at the upstairs neighbor’s the entire time.
- That time I tried to build a lamp.
- That time I failed at building a lamp.

So can we just all pretend that I told you about that stuff and ignore the fact that I really didn’t? And we’ll just not talk about what a terrible blogger I am and how no one reads this thing anyway? Cool, thanks.


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