Blocked.

I’ve been blocked for awhile now. As a writer. It has been some time now since I’ve been able to write much of anything. It isn’t for lack of trying. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat down with a stack of notebooks and a laptop and TRIED so hard to make something happen. But nothing happens. I’m blocked.

But mostly though that isn’t where I get into trouble. Mostly where I get into trouble is every other moment of the day. Basically I spend all day thinking about it. Thinking about it. Sure, I may be doing something else - and most likely am - like moving or cleaning or driving down the freeway or having a conversation with you, but somewhere in the back of my head there are gears grinding. They’re all snared up; like little metal typewriter legs jammed into a wedged up mess. There is energy there, there is intent there, there is force there, but nothing is happening. I’m blocked.

It has been going on for awhile now. I mean, look at how sad and sparse this blog has been the last couple months, and this blog exists because I ENJOY writing here; that’s the whole fucking point. Only I haven’t been able to write. I’m blocked.

Earlier today I was searching the internet (which is a series of tubes) for articles about writer’s block. I have been reading about the physiological and biological and psychological and emotional causes. And let me tell you, about this - as so many things - I don’t buy that anybody has any fucking clue what they’re talking about. You know what all of those articles felt like? They felt like freelance writers writing about writer’s block because freelancers don’t eat unless they write. God love them and I wouldn’t mind being one some day, but everybody needs to calm the hell down. One of the things that annoys me so much about the internet is that it is full of answers. Not necessarily good one. Not necessarily useful ones. Not necessarily the correct ones. But those fucking things are out there. So be warned. Me? I have no answers for you.And even if I did you probably wouldn’t be able to read about it here because I haven’t been able to write. I’m blocked.

I don’t know yet how I’m going to wiggle my way out of this situation. Rest assured, I will figure something out (Figuring something out is my superpower BTW). So it may happen that over the next few days there will be writing of very very very extremely very poor quality on here. But that is just what is going to need to happen. Because I’m blocked.

.
.
.