Why I Don’t Go to the Zoo
by james bezerra
Do you know why elephants
have such long trunks?
Makes it easier to steal your wallet!
Know why gorillas
are behind such thick glass?
They have terrible gas.
Guess what anteaters
actually eat.
That’s right, infant meat.
Know why kangaroos choose
to live in so few places?
They’re terrible racists.
Why are chimpanzees kept
in such small cages?
Helps control their drunken rages.
Ever wonder why
we don’t just let the bald eagles freely fly?
They’re all on the terrorist watch list.
Know why bear enclosures
are always so low?
Keeps the syphilis under control.
Why do we force animals into the zoo?
Because they’re all awful and we hate them.
And don’t even get me started on the aquarium.
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