My Query Letter.

So I have been thinking a lot about the things that I should be doing with my time. I have been thinking about all of the writing that I should be doing and about how much I wanted to have accomplished by this point in my life and about how very little of it I have actually gotten to.

One of the things that I should be doing is whoring out a little more – as a writer I mean. Why, what did you think I meant? – I should be submitting more and I should be stalking agents. Plainly, I should just be trying more.

In that vein of thought, I pulled up an old query letter for a novel that I wrote a million years ago. I am going to start toying with it again (the novel and the query letter), but read the below first draft of my query and tell me that this doesn’t sound like a book that you would like to read.

(BTW, a query letter is just a quick synopsis of you and your book that you send out to agents and publishers)


***


DEAR AWESOME AGENT PERSON

Set in a world both strange and strangely contemporary, my novel Very Nearly Fabulous follows the kinetic Sober Anne as he cuts a violent path through a seedy metropolis, trying to understand the strange luck that plagues him.

Sober Anne is handicapped by more than an embarrassing name. He suffers from luck the way that others suffer from a disease. Things happen to him, some of them good, some of them bad and all of them bizarre. He survives car crashes, riots, and gangs of gun-toting self-styled vampires. He finds himself on a dark journey to discover the nature of his luck, seeking the advice of millionaire pornographers, quantum physicist call-girls, and a man so lucky that death itself can’t catch him. Along the way he is recruited by a sentient super computer to steal the funniest software known to man, and the job allows him to live out his darker urges. Very Nearly Fabulous has a sweet and eccentric center covered in a layer of delicious dark humor.

I am currently seeking representation for all manner of fiction work. Recently my short stories have been published in The American Drivel Review and Prick of The Spindle. I was a winner of the 1998 Young Playwrights Project and my work has been performed at the distinguished Old Globe Theatre in San Diego. I worked for two years as a staff writer for a small Pulitzer Publishing owned newspaper. I have a screenplay entitled Strange Angel currently in production with a small independent film production company in Los Angeles.

The completed novel Very Nearly Fabulous is 79,000 words and it is available upon request. I very much look forward to hearing from you and I thank you for your time.

Respectfully,
James Bezerra


.
.
.
.