Frightened Fat Kid Inherits North Korea.

I know that you are in the loop and up on your current events, so I don’t have to tell you that recently it has seemed like the government in North Korea is maneuvering to establish Kim Jong Il’s son Kim Jong Un as the clear successor to his father.

Since the government of North Korea is all old-school Stalinist and still more secretive than M. Night Shymalan wants you to be about the end of his “movies”, no one actually knows who the hell Kim Jong Un is or what the hell he looks like or what makes him so qualified to run the world’s most batshit insane dictatorship. This goes for North Koreans too, they are all like, “I’m too busy starving to really care much at this point.”

So those ever-subtle style-makers up there in Pyongyang figured out how to make it super clear who will lead them into the future. Here is what they did: they let him go out in public.

That’s right. They allowed him to be seen.

Here is a picture from a recent North Korean rally, he’s the kid on the left.





Ha!

That was a joke. Seriously though, here you go, he’s the kid on the left.





Ha!

You fell for it again!

Seriously though this time; he is the kid on the left.






So there he is. Cower in fear world!

This poor guy has a lot to live up to. His father (the guy on the far right who looks like Mrs. Kim from The Gilmore Girls) is simply out of his mind in a way that only absolute power can make you.

You know what I really want to know though? How come the guy in the middle of that last picture isn’t the guy in charge? His hat is big and that probably makes him qualified. That Kim Jung Un is lucky that Dr. Seuss didn’t overthrow Korea and install a Communist government back in the day because if he had then – I suspect – political power would be determined entirely by the size of one’s hat (this is how the Catholic Church has always done it) and Kim Jong Um would be out on his ass.


HERE is an actual article about what's going on up there in the North.

(BTW, I bitch and moan a lot, but I understand that if I lived in North Korea and posted this blog entry, I would probably go to jail, or worse. GBA.)

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