How to Succeed in Life!

 

Below is an easy 4-step self-help book I just wrote. Success 100% guaranteed:

1. Have rich parents.

2. Be good looking.

3. Don’t develop too bad of a drug habit.

4. Take every opportunity to publicly explain your success without mentioning Steps 1 - 3.

That’s it! Welcome to your new life! Congratulations!

Stay tuned next week for my forthcoming book, “How to Succeed in Politics!”

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Stop Informing Us!

Dear The Media,

Please stop giving us information about Kim Kardashian. We do not care.

We try to be responsible consumers of news. We also think it is important to keep up with the pop cultural zeitgeist, however you have finally broken our will. Please stop keeping us updated on Kim Kardashian or anyone who is connected to and/or “famous” because of her.

Not since the great Paris Hilton Edict of 2007 have we asked you for anything like this, so please respect our wished and just make her go away.

Respectfully,
The Editors at Standard Kink

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