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The Writing Portfolio of James Bezerra

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Tuesday, August 27, 2019

I enjoy the part of boarding when - as a poor person - the poor people get frog walked through the first class cabin because that’s when I like to shout, “CLASS WARFARE!” and “BOTH MY MASTERS DEGREES REQUIRED ME TO EXTENSIVELY STUDY MARXISM!” The crowd always seems to dig that, if by “dig that” we mean ‘gaze silently’


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Finished my interview! I think it went well, but I’ve learned I have no sense of these things. Am back at the airport and waiting for some hand cut sweet potato fries. Life could certainly be worse.


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Monday, August 26, 2019

PRO TIP: On Fishermans Wharf you can just go from restaurant to restaurant slurping up free samples of clam chowder like the whole place is a damn Costco.


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I have made it to Monterey! My job interview has been rescheduled for tomorrow morning! My suit-in-a-backpack plan seems to have produced only minimal wrinkling! This has been a good day so far!


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Got stuck in Phoenix overnight. About to board yet another airplane and try leaving again. If it doesn’t work this time, then I am DEFINITELY in Purgatory.


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Sunday, August 25, 2019

I was supposed to be in Monterey an hour ago. I have a big job interview in 12 hours and I’m stuck back in Phoenix and @americanair is not handling this well so far.


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My already much delayed flight out of PHX was IN THE AIR when they turned us around and diverted back to PHX. This trip is not going well so far.


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My much delayed first leg flight, for which I arrived 2 and a half hours early, will last approximately 23 minutes (TUS to PHX).


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This brave little 23 liter backpack is packed with: A 3-piece suit, dress shoes, dress socks, dress shirt, a tie, a pocket square, an undershirt, boxers, my Dopp kit, a laptop, laptop charger, phone charger, 2 pens, a small notebook, a book, an extra phone battery, a phone charger, earbuds, a passport. In a few hours we’ll know if my elaborate suit packing system works!


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Friday, August 23, 2019

In a couple days I’m going to California for a couple days for a job interview. This is a picture from the last time I went to California for a job interview. That interview was on a pirate ship and while I have extensive buccaneering experience, my pirating experience, they said, is limited. Everyone always thinks their own profession is so specific and special. Anyway, wish me luck.


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Thursday, August 15, 2019

Without any internet radicalization at all, I somehow managed to convince myself that the Subaru Baja is the perfect automobile and then the other day one parked next to me at work and I was able to take this Sears-Portrait-Studio-quality photo of one in the wild.


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This is what the actual sky actually looks right now. Turn the brightness up on your phone to increase the weirdness.


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Tuesday, August 13, 2019

I went to the rich people mall to get my phone worked on (my battery was trying to murder me) and they had one of those binocular telescope things like on every pier in America, but this one was TOTALLY FREE and I just thought to myself, “Man, I bet the rich people don’t even know the rest of us usually have to pay for this.”


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Tuesday, August 6, 2019

Today I had an interview for a very cool job that I would very much like. The interview included giving a lengthy presentation. This is not a photo from my presentation. This is a photo of an insect I met before the interview.


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Saturday, August 3, 2019

This is from the actual website of a real-life company that found my resume online and which I will not be emailing back. Ever. Someone please explain to me what that caption means.


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Kink, but just the regular kind.

Hello and welcome to Standard Kink. This is a blog. So already you know I’m that kind of person. Herein you will find a lot of random miscellanea. I’m a writer still struggling to find his audience, so sometimes you’ll find my real writing here, short fiction and whatnot. But you will also find my bitter rants, my hopes, my dreams, and all the things I scream at the TV. I love the world, I really do, but it constantly challenges me to keep on loving it. They say that life is beautiful, but complicated. I agree.
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      • I enjoy the part of boarding when - as a poor pers...
      • Finished my interview! I think it went well, but I...
      • PRO TIP: On Fishermans Wharf you can just go from ...
      • I have made it to Monterey! My job interview has b...
      • Got stuck in Phoenix overnight. About to board yet...
      • I was supposed to be in Monterey an hour ago. I ha...
      • My already much delayed flight out of PHX was IN T...
      • My much delayed first leg flight, for which I arri...
      • This brave little 23 liter backpack is packed with...
      • In a couple days I’m going to California for a cou...
      • Without any internet radicalization at all, I some...
      • This is what the actual sky actually looks right n...
      • I went to the rich people mall to get my phone wor...
      • Today I had an interview for a very cool job that ...
      • This is from the actual website of a real-life com...
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