Thursday, February 19, 2009


So do you want to hear something that is totally embarrassing? I was stumbling through the wilds of the internet and I happened across this website called

The deal with this site is that it lets you “morph” together celebrity faces. Sounds totally juvenile, right?

Well I don’t even care! I love it. Me and this site are sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G-ing. I think about it all the time.

Here is a new (super hot) celebrity that I just made.
Guess who it is … go on, guess …

That’s wrong!

I guess you’re going to have to go to the site and figure it out.

Oh, just a note: adding Scarlett Johansson to anyone makes them hotter.
Here is Scarlett Johansson and the Dalai Lama.

Set, match, score. Point proved. Case closed.

Ken Starr is an Asshole

Dear Ken Starr,

You are an asshole Ken Starr.
You have been a plague on my country, not once, but twice.
I hope that you, before you one day die, realize how truly putrid you are.
You asshole.
I hope that you know that your footnote in history will be as an asshole.
Your grandchildren will be ashamed of you.
They will lie when people ask if they are related to you.
You will be denied by the future you think you are cleansing.
That's because you're an asshole.

Hi. I'm a prick.

Funny Canooks.

President Obama was greeted during his visit to Canada by signs that read, ‘YES WE CAN-ANDA’or rather, 'Yes Oui CANada'.

Thanks Rachel Maddow!
And thanks Google News and AFP.
Read all a-boot it!

Screw You Closed Form Poetry!

Below is a sonnet I came across in one of my school books. I think it is fun. I read it and I enjoyed it. I think that you should read it. And enjoy it. Or do both at once.

Oh, I’m sure that you know this, but Petrarch was the guy who basically invented the Sonnet form and Laura was his muse.

Sonnet - Billy Collins
All we need is fourteen lines, well, thirteen now,
and after this one just a dozen
to launch a little ship on love's storm-tossed seas,
then only ten more left like rows of beans.
How easily it goes unless you get Elizabethan
and insist the iambic bongos must be played
and rhymes positioned at the ends of lines,
one for every station of the cross.
But hang on here wile we make the turn
into the final six where all will be resolved,
where longing and heartache will find an end,
where Laura will tell Petrarch to put down his pen,
take off those crazy medieval tights,
blow out the lights, and come at last to bed.


Here is a funny article about a woman who sent emails while asleep.

My favorite bit is the excerpt from the email itself:

“Come tomorrow and sort this hell hole out. Dinner and drinks, Bring wine and caviar only.”

That is a fairly complex couple of sentences. And I can't spell caviar on my own when I'm awake AND sober.

I’m totally going to have a party where I invite people over with these very words in my evite and when they show up we will all knock back some Boone’s and some Ambien and then we will all sleep-blog about our caviar. It will be like an acid trip for the too-lame-to-drop-acid set.

The Sleep is On!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Are That Many People Really That Afraid?

I'm sorry. I really do try to not post stuff that you could easily find yourself, but I just thought that this one was too absurd and random to leave along the side of the internet road. This is from

fail owned pwned pictures
see more pwn and owned pictures

I typed it into Google and it works.

ee cummings, you crazy bastard

This is probably old news to someone as bright and well-read as you, but I recently came across this ee cummings poem in a book and I totally couldn't see it at first and I had to write it down. I didn't like it at first, but now I do.



Friday, February 13, 2009

A Thoroughly Unscientific Movie Review

So I saw “Taken” last night. What a super flaming piece of awesome!

Lord knows I am very critical of movies (the industry term is, I think, ass hole) but I am still able to disengage those faculties and enjoy a movie when enjoyment is really the point and let me tell you, the people who made “Taken” were all about the suspension of disbelief, but they reward you for it by having Liam Neeson kick ass in a way that you really have not seen before.
I wish I could tell you more, but I don’t want to ruin the oh-my-god-did-he-just-do-that moments of the movie.

Suffice to say that it is a movie of moments rather than a movie you are supposed to watch and be astounded by and there were two of three moments that I felt like I hadn’t really seen before. It was really a lot of fun.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


Violet found this and sent it to me and I have been laughing to myself so much that people are starting to look at me.

Buy a button.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Me, and the Media, Again

Again with the media being unforgivably bad at what they do … I have CNN on while I’m getting ready for work and making Violet her lunch and this person Heidi Collins is interviewing this Floridian retiree whose two children are out of work. The nice old retiree lady is going to be in the audience at the President’s speech this morning.

Well apparently this nice old lady knows a little more than she is supposed to because when Heidi asked about her feeling on the stimulus package, this lady had a well-informed opinion! She started talking about how there needs to be a change to a provision in the bill that would change the date of when the government accepts that the recession and economic downturn began (this would affect who is eligible for federal aid) and poor Heidi was just all what-the-fuck-is-this?

And so Heidi INTERRUPTED the nice old lady to ask, “Do you worry about you children?”


And then the retiree’s ear piece didn’t work and – I don’t want to be one of those conspiracy people but – I wonder if they messed up her ear piece to make her look doddering and old.

Anyway, I bet Heidi even thinks she is good at her job.

And you rock old retiree lady! You are patently awesome.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Dumb + Time = Dumber

I was just looking for something on my computer and I came across an old astronomy test I took last year and I had one of those moment when I realized that I no longer know how to do the things I used to know how to do.

Or, I suppose, I may never have known how to do them. I think I got this answer wrong.

Question #9. The hydrogen Balmer line of quasar 3C273 is observed to have a wavelength of 563.9 nm. The laboratory hydrogen Balmer line is known to be 486.1 nm. What is the speed at which this quasar is moving away from us expressed in meters per second only? Remember that all calculations require an explanation of your thought processes. Just a single numerical answer with out explanation may not be given any credit.

This question refers to redshift and the formula for calculating redshift is the change in wavelength divided by the unshifted wavelength, which in this case would be the hydrogen Balmer line of quasar 3C273, less the laboratory Balmer line, over the laboratory Balmer line:

Change in wavelength = (563.9 nm - 486.1 nm) = 77.8

Change in wavelength = 77.8 nm
Unshifted wavelength = 486.1 nm = 0.16

Then to get the distance in meters per second, we have to go back to the fact that radial velocity divided by the speed of light is going to be equal to the change in wavelength divided by the unshifted wavelength. So …

Change in wavelength = 77.8 nm
Unshifted wavelength = 486.1 nm = 0.16 multiplied by the speed of light (c)

C is usually expressed as 300,000 km/s
So …
0.16(300,000 km/s) = 48,000 km/s

And finally, to get the answer in meters per second, we multiply by 1000 (the number of meters in a kilometer). So …

1000(48,000 km/s) = 48,000,000 m/s

Quasar 3C273 is moving away from us at a speed of 48 million meters per second.

The Economy, Nancy Grace, Our Attention Spans, Totally Blow

They say that you campaign in poetry and govern in prose.

It is hard to get people to care about economics and even harder to get them to stop and LISTEN when it is being explained.

Man, watching the President’s press conference, I was very much reminded of how much I hate the American media.

You know what else makes me hate our media and want to throw things at it? The fact that Nancy Grace has a TV show. Now I have real and true hatred in my heart for Bill O’Reilly and all the other screaming right-wing sycophants, but (maybe because she is on when I get home from work) Nancy Grace makes me just sad. Here is a women who was a professional and a person who worked in the real world, but even her head exploded when they pointed a camera at her.



Digress much?

I think my point was simply that we finally have a president who is thoughtful and articulate and, by comparison, the Press just isn’t. It is sad. But I guess, at the end of the day, the NEWS - like art – is a function of commerce and they gotta sell ad space to pay the rent just like anybody else. So if no one watches thoughtful and articulate news shows, then there won’t be any.

So, as with most things, this is our fault. Yours and mine (but mostly yours! No, mine too. I guess).

So I’m sorry.

I watched one too many Geraldos and look what happened.

But I thought the President did well. I’m not one to drink the Kool Aid, but I think he is doing about as well as any human being could be doing right now.

Maybe that should have been the point when I started writing this.

Again, sorry.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Acai Berries

Here is a picture I thought was pretty.

Apparently, the Acai berry is currently being hocked as some kind of weight loss miracle fruit or some such bullshit. But don't hold that against the poor thing.

Violet's Favorite Article of the Week

Here is Violet's favorite article of the week. She says that when she read it she cried (becasuse it is so funny).

Hackers in Texas hack road signs on the side of the road to warn of zombies!

Here is the article.


Just kidding! That's not a link! See how it isn't all lit up?

Here ya go. Happy zomie hunting.