Bad/Good.

Bad/Good
by james bezerra

Redneck/Redhead
Draft Lottery/California Lottery
Serial Killer/Breakfast cereal
John Wayne Gacy/John Wayne
The Tea Party/a tea party
Hunting/Bargain hunting
Lynching/David Lynch
Republicanism/Virtually anything else
Getting a ticket/Getting free tickets to a Bon Jovi concert!
Having a stalker/Having a stalker who is Mila Kunis
Idle gossip/Gossip Girl
Worshipping idols/Billy Idol’s “White Wedding”
Having cancer/Being a Cancer
Star Wars: The Phantom Menace/Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
Deforestation/FernGully
Charlie Sheen/Martin Sheen
FOX News/Fenneck foxes (So cute!)




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Pick A Dictatorship.

No doubt some of you are familiar with the “Would You Rather” series of books. They are these hilarious little things that present you with unpleasant and impossible choices. I have fond memories of sitting around with friends and reading through them. The idea is that if you HAD to take one of these options, which would it be.

Would you rather fight Mike Tyson or talk like him?

That sort of thing, though they get much stranger and dirtier than that one.

Well, with all that is going on in the world, I have been thinking:

Whose dictatorship would you rather live in:

Gaddafi of Charlie Sheen?
Things to consider: Do you prefer your rants filled with Anti-Americanism, quasi-Anti-Imperialist delusions or cocaine-fueled delusions of grandeur? Also: are you a hooker (in which case, go with Gaddafi)?

Sarah Palin or Glenn Beck?
Things to consider: swallowing debilitatingly stupid bullshit or swallowing debilitatingly vitriolic bullshit?


Speaker of the House John Boehner or Jon Bon Jovi?
Things to consider: mandatory spray tans or “Shot through the Heart” as the national anthem?

(Actually, “Shot Through the Heart” as the national anthem might be kind of awesome.)




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