Malfunctioning Voodoo Doll
by james bezerra
I have a bone to pick with you!
Your mother sold me this doll for voodoo
and it has not done what I asked it to do!
I stick it with long pointy pins,
but nothing happens!
I’ve tossed it into a camp fire
but it hasn’t caused the burns I desire!
Meanwhile my archrival is still out there!
He still has all his hair!
He hasn’t been mauled by a bear!
Does your mother even care?!
We’re talking about my life here!
How hard can it be
to properly make a magical dolly
which causes massive tragedy
to any and all who annoy me?
So tell your lying mother
that I’m gonna report her
to that one TV reporter
as a defective-voodoo-doll-maker!
And then that TV reporter
will come knocking on your door
and he is going to ask her
why she is defrauding me, the consumer!
And to think that I tried to support a local business
by coming here to get this!
When I could have just gone to the mall
and gotten a much cheaper voodoo doll!
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