Walking Robot Prevents Me From Sleeping.

Freakiest thing ever! Have you guys seen this thing? Boston Dynamics built this nightmare creation machine ... wait ... what? Oh. Apparently this is not a nightmare creation machine, it is some sort of walking robot. Maybe they are planning to replace horses as our primary means of transportation ... wait ... what? Oh. Apparently horses are no longer our primary means of transportation.

Well anyway, they built this thing and it is creeping me out.

The Proliferation of Suck.

That awful Heidi Collins woman on CNN Newroom just described nuclear proliferation as “a very serious topic.”

Really? Really Heidi, is it?

I am so thankful that you get paid a salary to be on television and to school me on such serious topics.

I really need to find something else to watch in the mornings.
.
.
.
.
.

Teenage Vampire Steampunk (Lesbian) Love-Triangle

So I have had that one idea that I will make my fortune off of. The idea is so great that I am not only going to write the book, but also play on the album and write the movie. The idea is this:

Teenage Vampire Steampunk Love-Triangle.

“How awesome is that?” I ask.

“Very,” you answer.

Violet even suggested ramping it up and going with:

Teenage Vampire Steampunk Lesbian Love-Triangle.

And maybe that is even better!

Anyway, this is my idea, you can not have it. Sorry.

Man, I am going to be so rich.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Wow.

Holy hell! Look at this!

I know that this picture is probably not real, but wow, right?




I found the picture using stumbleupon.com and I wish I could give somebody credit for it, I think it belongs to this website: leprosorium.com
.
.
.
.

Virtual Robbery = Real Money.

Okay, so figure this shit out. Some Australian guy who ran the virtual bank for some online role-playing-game stole a bunch of virtual money from said virtual bank and somehow managed to cash it in for real money so he could pay some bills.

I don’t even understand this. And I don’t quite know how to feel about it. Is it funny? Lame? Ingenious?

The article is on BBC’s website, so it is probably not – you know – a made-up lie.

Billions stolen in online robbery.
.
.
.
.
.

Sarah Palin 2012!

.

So I know I’m a couple of days behind here, but Sarah Palin resigned as Governor of Alaska, apparently because having that job was interfering with being a celebrity.

She seems to be doing that thing where she thinks she’s being coy but in reality she is just being obnoxious and lame. She is not talking about her plans, but she is spending all day talking around her plans.

Well all I can say is pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease let her be the Republican Presidential nominee in 2012! PLEASE!

Any smart Republican knows that they have no chance of defeating Obama in 2012 (unless he does something really stupid, like eat a child on television) but they can’t just not run anybody. They can’t just throw their arms up in the air and be all, “Well fuck.”

And I find it hard to believe that there are any serious, grown-up Republicans who believe that Sarah Palin is a real candidate or that she even possesses the intellect to do the job.

So …

Since sacrificial lambs are hard to come by, the Republicians should run her in 2012 because it gets her out of their hair and her stunning and complete defeat might exorcize their party of all the Rush Limbaugh/Sarah Palin/Bill O’Reilly crazies.

AND! The best part?

We get to watch the Presidential debates between President Obama and Sarah “What-the-fuck-am-I-talking-about-does-anyone-know?” Palin!

I would pay so much money to get watch that in a movie theater with popcorn.

Let’s all keep our fingers crossed!

Here's an article about Palin's "higher calling".
.
.
.
.
.
.

Michael Jackson Misses You Too.

So if you are like me, you have been using this long Fourth of July weekend to reflect on the meaning of Michael Jackson.

No, just kidding.

But I actually saw that on a magazine. The cover was all just a giant picture of Michael Jackson and then it said: The Meaning of Michael.

What?

I don’t even know what that means.

I know that he was hugely important to the African-American community, given the status he achieved and the time when he achieved it, and I know he created some barrier breaking music, but come on, is that why he’s on the cover of TIME Magazine? I kinda think that his hugely bizarre and disappointing train-wreck life is why he remained on the radar screen at all.

And I don’t mean to be all raining on anybody’s parade, but I think that this is what our weird TV culture does and it is annoying. The day before he died, Michael Jackson was basically a punch line and the day after he died, he’s a musical genius. That’s the part that bothers me. It isn’t you Michael, it is us, that annoys me.

When I heard that he died, I immediately posted on Facebook that I would like to be the one to start the rumor that he faked his death. Other people were posting about: “We love you Mike, and we will miss you” or “Thank you Michael”. And I was all what the fuck?

Does the fact that he made some good music excuse all the other things that he did?

How does his dying transgress those things? And would we let it if he hadn’t invented moon-walking?

Maybe I just don’t get it.
.
.
.
.
.
.