Your Mom is a False Correlative!

So My Brother the Kinesiologist had his first statistics class today and his professor gave out some extra credit and so he called me because – although I am a writer – I quite enjoyed statistics and there was a while when I wouldn’t shut the hell up about it.

I thought that you might enjoy mulling over the etra credit question. I don’t know what the answer is, BTW, so this whole post is really just an exercise in disappointment (much like my love life).

Anyway, the professor gave them this link to a CNN story titled “Love makes teen sex less academically harmful, study says” and the extra credit question is: read the article and figure out what is wrong with the title.

Here’s a hint, it is NOT that the title is awkwardly worded and that the editor who came up with it should be chastised. Feel free to give it you best guess. Mine is down below.


If you want to send your suggestions to My Brother the Kinesiologist, then send me your email and I will send you his. I will also send you his social security number, if you want it.



*** My guess: the title implies a correlation between teen sex and poor academic performance and that ALL teen sex is academically harmful, but that “romantic” teen sex is less harmful. The article, however, seems to use virgins as the control group and does not make the case that “romantic” teen sex is harmful, only that the non-loving “hook up” kind is. I believe that is called a false correlative.

So put that in your pipe and smoke it, My Brother the Kinesiologit’s professor!



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Teenage Vampire Steampunk (Lesbian) Love-Triangle

So I have had that one idea that I will make my fortune off of. The idea is so great that I am not only going to write the book, but also play on the album and write the movie. The idea is this:

Teenage Vampire Steampunk Love-Triangle.

“How awesome is that?” I ask.

“Very,” you answer.

Violet even suggested ramping it up and going with:

Teenage Vampire Steampunk Lesbian Love-Triangle.

And maybe that is even better!

Anyway, this is my idea, you can not have it. Sorry.

Man, I am going to be so rich.
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