Jesus, If.

Jesus, If

by james bezerra

Jesus, if

he came back or

ever existed,

would roll

on in in

Salvation Army red leather

jacket, three bullet holes

in the back.

We’d order a round,

laugh about Romans,

do shots

through his hand holes.

He’d think

we’re bonding

and we

would be,

but him with us

not

us with him.

Last call

and we’d all

stumble quickly away,

drunk ducks in the night

giggling soggily.

Stick him with

the tab.

The prostitutes and tax collectors

he’s used to

ain’t got nothen’

on us.

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HIMYM (Requiem).

I have spent a lot of time thinking about it and I have decided that I am okay with the way that How I Met Your Mother ended … you know, 5 months ago. It wasn’t great and it deserved to be better, but it was no basket of onion rings, you know.

That’s probably all I’m ever going to say about that.

Except - I will say - regardless of how it ended, there’s always this.

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Butter Churn.

Butter Churn


by james bezerra



I would really like

to see –

and to pee

in - the sea.

However, unfortunately

I am Amish and

live outside of Cincinnati.

So instead I just churn my butter

and think that things might get better

when the End Times come,

because perhaps then

Jesus will bring the sea to me!

 
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Missed Connections.

Below I have posted for you a link to an interesting article that seems initially funny and then suddenly becomes less so.

I’m posting it for the funny part.

You have, I’m sure, seen those commercials for Christian dating sites. Well it would appear that those very sites have gotten themselves in some hot water with their own far right constituencies for implying that they know God’s matchmaking plans! You might ask, "How do they imply this?" Well, by saying things like, “Find God’s match for you!”

The irony, of course, is that this is just feckless infighting amongst the hard-core Jesus People and the SUPER hard-core Jesus people. It’s like arguing about the blueness of shades of blue. Just let the poor, lonely Jesus People find love! For Christ’s sake!

I am not always a fan of the Jesus People, but I am always a fan of love (I’m kind of a girl).

Anywhoo, here’s the link: Let Jesus be your Yenta!

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Thoughts about Lent by james bezerra

Thoughts about Lent.
by james bezerra

Does Jesus really
care about your chocolate
consumption habit?

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Who Will Care For Muffy?

SO I know that you are always wondering, “When the Rapture happens and I go off to Heaven for all of eternity, what will happen to my beloved family pet, who, sadly, has no soul?”

Well here is the answer:Eternally Earth-Bount Pets

For a nominal fee, these animal-loving, committed atheists (who obviously won’t be taken off to Heaven) will come pick up your pet and take care of it since you have shuffled of this mortal coil.

Funny? Yes.
Brilliant? Yes.

Even Jesus is laughing about this.
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Thanks Paul for finding this!
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