Songs for My Band's Next Album!

If you have visited this blog before then you no doubt know that I am in an entirely fictitious band. Here are some of the songs that will be on our next album! Should we ever actually decide to make a next album (which would be our first). Though in order to even cut an album we will probably have to start practicing … or even all meeting in one place at one time (I think I have let thirty or forty people into the band by now, so the logistics of rehearseing can be a real bitch) … also, we probably can’t actually start practicing until I actually write some of these songs … which I will totally do, just as soon as I learn to play an instrument …

Until all of that happens though, please enjoy these song titles!

The Otter Conclusion

www.rufiegun.com

Ninja in the Bedroom

Forbidden Clam Cave

Lisa is Trying to Get Me to Hook-Up with an Ugly Icelandic Virgin

Happiness is a Learned Condition (from Tom Robbins)

The Finnish Finishing School

Hemispheric Homogenization

I Dream of a World Where Virtuous Platypuses Ride Justice Ostriches into Battle Against Evil

Big Imaginary Bullets

Boat Made of Holes

Tragematopolists with Candy

The Thomas Guide of Her Soul

A Skin’s Length of Scabs

You’re Instrumental When You’re Wordless

How to Make Your Own Furniture Out of Other Furniture

His Jabberwocky of Excuses

Pornographic Cardiogram



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WTF Eyjafjallajokull?

Have you fucking seen this picture?





Is it god and the devil fighting? Is it a scene from the craptacular 2012? Is it a clear sign that the world is ending?

No, no, and yes.

Here is the story about it.

This is just another way that the Icelandic volcano Eyjafjallajokull is blowing the collective mind of humanity.


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There's no I in CIA. Oh, wait ...

Holy Hell Yeah Batman!

Guess who is recruiting RIGHT NOW! Guess who is hiring!

Guess!

No, that’s totally wrong! (did you not see the CIA seal at the top of this post?)

It is the CIA. The Central fricken’ Intelligence Agency is looking for you! And me! Well, more me than you, but you should totally still apply.

Specifically they are looking for people with foreign language skills, so Violet and I are going to go get one of those Rosetta Stone things and learn us some Icelandic! Because who wants to end up in Lebanon or the Khyber Pass when Reykjavik needs protecting too!

We have a whole plan already: Violet and I are going to run the CIA Station in Iceland so that we can live in one of those ice hotels and she can take a lot of pictures and I can write the quintessential Icelandic espionage novel (can you say harrowing climatic foot chase on a glacier?)

Anyway, here is an article about the
CIA’s recruitment efforts.

And here is the address where Violet and I will be living:
1 CIA Street
Icelandia, Iceland, 12345
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