If you have read this blog before, then you are probably aware that I am in an entirely fake band.
As fake bands go, we’re pretty awesome.
We’re not an air guitar band or anything. THAT would be lame. We’re an entirely hypothetical band.
We have about forty-five hundred members because I invite virtually everyone I meet to be in the band. This has started to pay dividends because we used to have only one member who could play a “traditional” instrument (re: not a blender).
Myself, I play the blender.
However, we acquired another bass player and not one, but two
ukulele players! Also, I was recently given a non-functioning keyboard made entirely out of cardboard, so obviously we will need someone to play that.
Anywhoo, the point is that I am in a fake band and one of my band duties (aside from rocking the variable-speed blender and inviting strangers to join) is coming up with song titles.
Below are songs that will be on my band’s next album. Enjoy!
Someone Stole the Post Office
A Very Cosby-Sweater Christmas Party
The Zodiac Killer Wants a Pizza
I Saw You in a Nasty Thought
She Just Kept Staying Here
Exquisitely Inappropriate Gravitas
Strip Club Piggy Bank
My Pervasive Malaise
Your Mom Has a Blog
The Vengeful Tsunami of History
Modern Life Well-Lived
Cruel Mouth
What Kind of Fire I’ve Got in Me
Nearly Sexy …
I Tend to Approach Everything with Contempt
Panama Wilt
Get a Lamp, Eloise!
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(Not to brag or anything, but people in the know are saying that this might be our breakthrough album.)
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