How Many?
by james bezerra
How many of something,
would it take to weird you out?
Sure one puppy is cute,
and two puppies even cuter!
But what about 300 puppies?
Or 3,000 puppies?
All of them looking at you?
Is that not enough to weird you out?
How about three hundred thousand puppies
(that’s six hundred thousand small, moist eyes)
all looking at you?
Looking at you!
How many clowns
would it take to weird you out?
Sometimes one is enough (especially if he’s
covered in blood).
How many praying mantises
would it take to weird you out?
One?
Six?
45?
100?
A plethora, perhaps?
A plethora of praying mantises
are locked in a closet with you,
crawling on you, praying on you,
in your hair,
in your mouth,
Is that enough to weird you out?
How many bloody clowns
driving how many windowless-van loads
of how many praying mantises
riding on how many puppies
with how many eyes,
would it take to weird you out?
And what it they all talked?
All of them, the puppies, the praying mantises, the clowns, the vans.
They all talked and screamed and chanted words. They all chanted one world:
Cumquat!
Or one word twice:
Cumquat! Cumquat!
Or two words once, but over and over:
Sticky cumquat!
How many times must how many bloody clowns in how many window-less vans filled with how many however-many-eyed puppies ridden by how many screaming praying mantises that have been in your mouth, chant how many words at you before you’re weirded out?
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