Not that long ago I was goaded into coming up with some accountant jokes. I think that we all knew this would be a regrettable endeavor from the outset, but I gave it a shot anyway.
Oh, and before you get all like, “Oh holy hell those aren’t technically even jokes!”, I would just like to say, you try making up some occupation-specific jokes while you’re busy doing other things and let’s see how you do (and don’t try to half-ass it by chosing a funny profession like a clown or a proctologist either).
Here you go:
Joke #1.
How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
None, if accountants could work with their hands then they wouldn’t be accountants in the first place. Also, that’s what Maintenance is for.
Joke #2
ACCOUNTANT 1: Hey, do you think I can write off this burnt out light bulb from joke #1 as depreciated inventory?
ACCOUNTANT 2: Sure, if you like prison food.
Joke #3
What’s the difference between an accountant and an abacus?
The abacus probably doesn’t have a drinking problem.
Joke #4
Q: How many accountants can you fit in a phone booth?
A: Technically that would depend on the internal volume of the phone booth and the average weight and height of the accountants you’re trying to put inside of it.
ZING!!
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