Some Possibly True Facts!

Some of these things are true!


Osama bin Laden’s is believed to be the most recognizable face in the world!

Rob Lowe is a bestselling novelist!

Edgar Allan Poe bred cats in Baltimore with seven toes!

Recent poll finds that for the first time Astronomers now have high rates of suicide than dentists!

Lou Diamond Phillips is the godfather of Jennifer Grey’s son!

Marine biologists have discovered that cats cannot SCUBA dive!

In 1962 the Soviet space program launched an elephant named “Pasha” into space and that she made 26 orbits of the planet Earth!

All Canadians are afraid of the dark!

President James A. Garfield was the model for the famous cartoon cat in the comic strip “Garfield”!

President James Buchanan was the model for the cartoon character of “Jon” in the comic strip “Garfield”!

In parts of Amazonian Peru tarantula eggs are considered a delicacy and eaten on bread!

The band “The Decemberists” are named for a 19th Century Russian military uprising!

The nation of Azerbaijan was named for Dilpallan Azerbaijani, a fourth century Hindu explorer and religious leader!

Opium was discovered by the Mongolians, not the Chinese!

The Palestinian Authority is not allowed to enter teams in the Olympics!

The actual nationality of Christopher Columbus is unknown because as a boy he was orphaned in a shipwreck, of which he was the only survivor!

The 1990’s one-hit-wonder band “White Town” changed its name and became the band “Spoon”!

The band “The Presidents of the United States of America” are working with Sir Mix-A-Lot on a Broadway musical about the rise and fall of the band “The Presidents of the United States of America”!

Kurt Russell was nearly cast in the role of Han Solo in “Star Wars” instead of Harrison Ford!

Dennis Hopper was nearly cast in the role of Tom Hagen in “The Godfather” instead of Robert Duvall!

As a child actress, Calista Flockhart was an extra in one crowd scene the Harrison Ford film “Witness”. Now they are married!

More than 1,800 man-made objects fall out of space every year due to their deteriorating orbits! Most of them burn up on re-entry!

In the 1940s Army and Exxon scientists worked together on a secret project to chemically change water into oil and visa versa!

Historians and psychologists now believe that Civil War Union general William Tecumseh Sherman was actually a diagnosable pyromaniac!

Every year more than 40 people worldwide are killed by ants!



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Like I Always Say: Fungus is Mightier Than the Sword.

So apparently there is some kind of fungus ravaging the opium fields of Afghanistan. Which means that your Mom’s heroin is going to get more expensive, so you had better chain up your TV like it’s the beginning of Requiem for a Dream (you should seriously get your mom some help).

Read the BBC article all about it.

The thing that I like about this story is that NATO is getting accused of having caused the fungus (somehow). And you know what? I wish that we had, but I think that we all know that we’re not that smart.

This is exactly why I believe that they should put me in charge of stuff. All stuff. I would put together a crack team of awesome people (I would call them my “Awesome-neers” [like engineers or imagineers, only of awesome!]). The team would have the world’s most talented hacker, a muscley european getaway driver, a sexy safecracker, a good all-around funny and cool black guy (like Mos Def maybe). I would get us all Mini-Coopers to zip around in.

Anyway, a bunch of NATO guys would come into the office and be all like, “We have this problem, the Taliban has an endless income because so many Americans are buying their drugs. They use the money to kill our boys. It is a vicious circle. You have to help us. Please The Awesome-neers!”

And then I would rub my chin with my thumb and forefinger (I will have grown a Van Dyke beard by this point) and then I will wink at the sexy safecracker and then I will look at the NATO guys and be all like, “Fungus!”

If we lived in the world that I want to live in, that’s how it would have happened. But since we live in this world, I think it is all just a happy (though mysteriously awesome)accident.

P.S.
Although, now that I think about it, in the early 1960s the CIA tried to implode the Cuban economy by killing off the sugar and coffee fields with chemicals sprayed from crop dusters and also with bugs dropped from airplanes (the CIA spent $30 million designing and producing tiny parachutes for locust and cicadas. True story!).


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