All Kinds of Awesome.

Do you like hilariousness? If so, please read this from The Borowitz Report.

(Thanks to NYDana for this article!)


Fox News Estimates Jon Stewart’s Crowd at Seven People
Disappointing Turnout, News Channel Says



WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – The Fox News Channel reported today that the turnout for Jon Stewart’s “Rally to Restore Sanity” was underwhelming at best, with Fox sources estimating the total turnout at seven people.

“Our total count includes Stewart, [Stephen] Colbert, and what appear to be a few of their friends and relatives,” said Fox anchor Shepard Smith. “This has to be a smaller crowd than they were expecting.”

But immediately after Fox broadcast what it described as “live coverage” of the rally showing a nearly-deserted National Mall, viewers began to point out irregularities in the images being shown.

First of all, one viewer noticed that the live coverage of the rally was actually being broadcast a full twelve hours before the rally began.

Second, an expert identified the supposedly “live footage” of today’s rally as file footage from a Sunday in 1997 when the Mall was completely shut down for reseeding.
Even in the face of such evidence, Fox stood by its story, with Fox host Glenn Beck pointing out that the seven people in attendance were “largely elitists.”

“I was struck by how many correctly spelled signs there were,” Mr. Beck said. “That’s not my America.”




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Why You Should Care, and stuff.

So apparently CNN Newsroom (this is the one that is on when I am getting ready for work) now has a segment called, “Why You Should Care”.

Basically they do what television “news” does. They find two people who disagree about something and let them fight with each other. The CNN person acts like a referee, but thinks that she’s a journalist.

I only thought it was funny because of the segment name: Why You Should Care.
Is it the fault of CNN that we don’t? Or can I blame FOX NEWS for this somehow? Or are these jack-asses just trying to make a living?

I don’t know.

But this is a spot of bother for me. Normally I’m great at assigning blame!

Also, the two guys arguing with each other, they were arguing about whether or not the children of illegal immigrants should be allowed to apply for federal student aid to go to college.

One guy was all, if they can get into the damn school in the first place, let them go! They are basically Americans!

The other guy was all, they are taking the spots and the financial aid away from actual Americans!

At the very least, at least it was an interesting question.

Not really though. Of course we should let them go to school.

The difference between a Mexican immigrant today and an Irish immigrant of a hundred years ago, is just the law. If we had had these laws back then, you’re great-grandfather Irish McIrishson would have been illegal too. And you’re grandfather wouldn’t have been able to go to school.

Look CNN! You totally convinced me to care!
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FOX NEWS should die!

Jon Stewart just said:

FOX NEWS, the news you watch when news is not what you want.

I loooooove you Jon Stewart.
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