Monday, November 12, 2018

Making Brownies.

Today I made brownies. I do not know when I last made brownies. I think I’m kind of bored. And cheap. And like small projects. Lately I have been thinking about making breakfast as a little project. I get set out all the things I need: mug for coffee, mug to scramble eggs, tiny frying pan, etc. I like steps and I like to clean as I go, and I like to be able to sit down with my eggs and coffee and say, “PROJECT COMPLETE!”

Yeah, I don’t have enough to do right now.

I’ve been looking for work. Few things are as destructive to one’s sense of worth as looking for work. I’m on three different job sites and I am on them every day and I’ve only been at this for a few weeks (less than a month) and today I just kind of hit a wall. It is all the same today as it was yesterday! So I decided to make some brownies. I’ve been trying to eat better lately, but some days a grown ass man just wants to bake some brownies, you know?

I should be writing more than I am (my NANOWRIMO is not going well, guys), but I’m still in that weird post-MFA funk. I feel like I’m still recharging my batteries, although I did finally get the proof for the book I made about my residency in Nebraska, so that's fun. I’m going through it now looking for problems/errors. I also created an actual book using letters my grandfather wrote during World War II. So I’m not doing nothing, but I don’t feel like I’m doing enough. That’s the story of my life though. I have felt this way as long as I can remember.

Anyway, I have to go take my brownies out of the oven. I just wrote this because I was standing here in the kitchen with my laptop open. TTFN.


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