Go West, Jethro!

So apparently The Amish are spreading out across the country.

Read this article about it!

They have experienced a 10% population increase in two years!

Let’s think about that for a second: 10% in TWO years.

That is a lot.

Apparently this population boom is encouraging them to spread out to find new places to have little Amish communities, or “Weird villages full of polite crazy people” as the experts sometimes call them.

Here is some food for thought though: population growth of 10% in two years can only be achieved one way, and that way is with a whole hell of a lot of sex. Which means that there is a whole hell of a lot of Amish sex happening. All the time, apparently. Probably because those formless, ill-fitting black dresses are just so sexy. And don’t even get me started on how good a man looks in a beard like that.

Although you’ll probably get to experience all of that sexy first-hand since there are probably Amish people moving into the house next door to you at this very moment. I feel sorry for you because that barbeque that you were planning for this weekend is totally going to get overshadowed by that barn-raising there are going to have in their backyard. Also, they are probably having WAY more sex than you are.

They’re like bunnies, those crazy Amish.

Oh, BTW, if you are Amish and this blog post happened to offend you, please just let me say, what the hell are you doing on the internet?


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