"Parentheses" by The Blow.

Here is a fun song I heard today!



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Speedo.

Speedo
by james bezerra

I wonder how much they vet
dudes who go on The Bachelorette.
I would sure bet
compatibility is less important
than how you look in a Speedo.



** Editors’ Note: It freaks us out a little bit that Microsoft Word knows “speedo” is wrong but “Speedo” is right. **
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Nail Fungus.

Nail Fungus
By james bezerra

If one of you put me on a mailing list about nail fungus,
then we have something to discuss!
Because I have been getting emails about it
and my finger fungus
is just not any of your business!
I would unsubscribe, but it’s the only mail I get :(

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Misspent Youth.

Misspent Youth
by james bezerra

Perhaps I would feel better
about all the things wrong with me
if I had suffered some sort of calamity;
a car crash or an addiction
or a term in prison.
Then all the little that I have done
would be impressive by comparison.
People would say, “Good for him!
He overcame that addition!
And that stint in prison!”
But sadly I have no such excuse
for my misspent youth.
So all the little that I have done
seems so very trivial by comparison.
No kids, no house, no savings, no prospects, no lover, and no life-change pending.
And all I have to offer is all this complaining.

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Hungry Like The Wolf.

Hungry Like The Wolf
by james bezerra

If you had to be one of the dudes from Duran Duran,
would you want to be Duran?
Or Duran?
I would like to be the English one!
Or Scottish. Or Australian.
I really don’t know much about Duran Duran.

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Saved! Actual Disaster Averted as Manufactured Crisis is Resolved to the Satisfaction of No One.

Saved! Actual Disaster Averted as Manufactured Crisis is Resolved to the Satisfaction of No One
by james bezerra



Is it cynical of me to say
that when we elect a giant mess
of dogmatic Christians into Congress
that all things are bound to happen this way?
I mean, any psychologist will say
that when someone manufactures a crisis this way,
just so he can create the fix,
it is called a ‘Savior Complex’.

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History is Dumb!

History is Dumb!
by james bezerra

I don’t know how much you think about ivory smuggling,
but I find it fascinating!
All that blood and risk and money
just because ivory is kinda pretty!
Don’t even get me started on diamonds!
I also like to think about how the whole reason Columbus sailed West
was because he was trying to find the fastest
way to get us salts and spices from an exotic land
all because our food was kind of bland!
Sometimes I think we’re all morons.

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