Wouldn’t It Be Surprising #1.

Wouldn’t It Be Surprising #1

by james bezerra

If David Caruso was cast in a one-man show based on David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest directed by David Fincher and attended opening night by David Duchovny who sat all night holding hands with the ghost of David Carradine and no one thought that any of that was odd?

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My New Charity.

My roommates just decided that they are going to stop showering for good. Please donate to my just-created charity: Save Jamie’s Apartment from The Smells!

We will use your donations to purchase air fresheners, scented candles, lots of Clorox wipes, and enough of those pine-scented Christmas trees to make the apartment look like the place where that sloth-y dude was strapped to the bed in “Se7en”.

Hooray for charity!

Please donate here:
SaveJamiesAprtmentFromTheSmellsDOTorg

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Strange, but True Internet Facts!*

Did you know!
That the girl who dumped the founder of Google back in high school
does not come up on Google when you google her!

Did you know!
That David Fincher’s personal Facebook account
has been “accidently erased” due to a “technical glitch” seventeen times since the movie was released!

Did you know!
That the reason it took so long to get the Beatles on iTunes was because decades ago Steve Jobs promised Paul McCartney that Apple would never get into the music business!

Did you know!
When DARPA began linking computers on a network, thereby creating the first Internet,
they did it so that programmers could more easily share their porn!




*The editors here at Standardkink would like to make it clear that when we use the word “True” what we actually mean is, “possibly true, because who’s to say what truth is, really?” and when we use the word “facts” what we actually means is, “possibly facts, because who can really ever be sure about these things, you know?”


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Quick Flick: The Social Network.

Shakespeare was mysteriously silent on the subject of social networking websites and so Aaron Sorkin had to step up. If Sorkin rewrote the phone book, I would go right now and buy my advance ticket, so I’m clearly biased, but it was a good movie and David Fincher is going to win Best Director (I already have money down on it).

What it is, is perfectly crafted. Just perfectly formed. These are talented and creative people at the top of their game. Somehow they make writing code seem interesting and legal depositions positively riveting. It is thoughtful and funny and grown-up and just good.

What it is not, is a movie that will change your life. I don’t know if you were expecting it to, but it won’t.


Myself, I'm hoping that this is just the first of many collaborations between Sorkin and Fincher on films about websites. Imagine the cinematic potential of Wikipedia, Weather.com and – of course – Youporn.


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