A Dialogue I Just Had with My Cat.

A Dialogue I Just Had with My Cat.

by james bezerra

ME: So how are you doing lately? I know you’re kind of lonely because you’re used to having other cats around, but Lily died, and you’re used to having other people around, but it’s just you and me now.

CAT: (Says nothing)

ME: I try to make sure you get enough attention. You get to sleep in the bedroom, which you didn’t always get to do …

CAT: (Says nothing)

ME: And we play games that you didn’t used to get to play before! Like the game we you invented called “Ripping the Rubber Lining Out From Under the Door” and you seem to like that and I let you do it because I feel guilty …

CAT: (Says nothing)

ME: And I sing that song to you that I wrote for you …

CAT: (Says nothing)

ME: Look, I know you spend a lot of time by yourself, but you know what? So do I. You think I want to spend all of this time alone with just a cat to keep me company?

CAT: (Says nothing)

ME: You know, I don’t need you guilt-tripping me everytime I leave the apartment. LIke your life is sooo bad, you have food and water and a nice clean box to shit in. I leave the blinds open so you can watch the birds outside during the day.

CAT: (Says nothing)

ME: I just don’t understand what you have to get all pissy about. I mean, there are cats in the world who have to live their whole lives on the street and find their food in garbage cans or - god forbid - they have to catch mice and squirrels and stuff. Do you have to do that? No! Because you can’t be troubled with that kind of thing. What? LIke it’s beneath you?

CAT: (Says nothing)

ME: I’m just saying that if I were in your position I’d be happy and thankful for what I have. I certainly wouldn’t be trying to bite me about it all the time and complaining because I’m not allowed on the kitchen counter.

CAT: (Says nothing)

ME: You know what? I think you’re being a little bitchy about this. I mean, what the fuck do you want from me?

CAT: (Says nothing)

ME: Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get so worked up about it. It’s just that I’m doing the best I can, okay? This is kind of a tough time, alright? I’m looking for a job and it is still hard out there, but I’m trying to keep it in, okay? I’m doing my best to make it so that you don’t have to worry about that kind of stuff. Is you food bowl ever empty? That’s what I thought. I buy your food before I buy mine and if I don’t have the cash, I put my food back, not yours. I’m doing the best I can.

CAT: (Says nothing)

ME: I don’t like that it’s like this, but I needed to do what’s best for me. I think you understand that …

CAT: (Says nothing)

ME: It means a lot to me that you understand that this time right now is important to me. So thanks, I’m happy that you’re going through all of this with me. It makes it a lot easier than if I was doing it alone.

CAT: (Says nothing)

.
.
.