Last night while watching the Oscars I started to get bored somewhere
around the fourteenth appearance of the cast of “Chicago” and so I set up a
Twitter account from my phone. Should you care, it is called @standardkink
(though I’m no exactly sure if that means anything because I have not yet
figured out how Twitter works.
Here are my initial Twitter-related discoveries in what I
like to call “The Land of Stuff Which was Cool Two or Three Years Ago!”
- Everybody I have talked to about having a brand new shiny
Twitter account has said to me, “Yeah. I have one. I don’t really use it
anymore.”
- It is very difficult to figure out which person on Twitter
is actually Will Ferrell.
- The speed and frequency with which The Huffington Post
updates its Twitter feed is not just shocking but actually kind of horrifying.
It is as if they have an entire staff of people over there who used to be Republicans
and they are all trampling over each other to prove their liberal bona fides.
- Steve Martin is a very funny man who has been told far too
many times that he is a very funny man. I adore him but something about the
fact that he’s hilarious even when he’s phoning it in is kind of annoying.
- As soon as you sign up for a Twitter account seven people
whose photos are of trashy looking women in bikinis will start following your
single post and then immediately unfollow you.
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