Pretentiously Obscure (and Stupid) Literary Rhymes about Sweets and Snacks
by james bezerra
If Tristram Shandy
offered me some candy,
I would take all of it which had nougat!
If I had to go to the Congo,
I’d like to go with Marlow,
because he always has chocolate!
If Captain Ahab made kettle corn
on our trip ‘round Africa’s horn,
I would probably eat all of it!
If Natty Bumppo
fried up a sugary churro
and didn’t give me some, I’d pitch a nasty fit!
If I saw a warm bear claw
that was also craved by Dracula,
I would totally risk gettin’ bit!
If young Dorian Gray
stole my Milkyway
I’d tell him where he could shove it!
If Mrs. Dinsmore
had only one more s’more,
I would suggest a 50/50 split!
If Billy Pilgrim made a stop
to give me a lollipop,
I would totally lick it!
But if the Marquis de Sade thought
I’d take his free cream-filled donut,
He would suffer quite the disappointment!
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1 comment:
If Frankenstein rose
and bought you spicy Cheetos,
would it be the brand you covet?
Sorry.
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