Anguish Persisting.

 

Remember how in the movie Airplane the Lloyd Bridges character, as the situation keeps worsening, says things like, “I really picked the wrong day to stop drinking ...” or, “I really picked the wrong day to stop doing cocaine …”? Well let me be honest here, I picked the wrong week to try to dramatically alter the shape of my life. 

I will say, I had a pretty good run right after work yesterday, but then while I was cooking my new, healthy dinner, some family drama crept into my life and ended up making me so angry that I barely ate and then couldn’t sleep. I was in bed for hours trying to get comfortable with my shoulder (which I think is getting worse?) and thinking about how angry I was. I just never got to much of anything that could be considered sleep. 

So here I am on the morning of Day 4 and I’m just sleep deprived and in pain and emotionally spent. But what is life if not anguish persevering, right? (<---- No one reading this in the future will recognize that this was a funny meme sentence construction on Twitter this past week). 

 

But, it’s fine.

I have 8 hours of work to get through today. I have a whole weekend to try to norm myself back to a good baseline and then next week I get to start again. That’s one thing about the unrelenting forward onslaught of time; if today isn’t working for you, you just have to make it to tomorrow.  

Since no one reads this blog anymore, I know that I don’t have to worry that I’m coming off unhappy and cranky this week, but I still feel like I should point out: I’m actually on an upswing here. The fact I’m typing this at all is a sign that things are getting a little better for me. Like anything in life, it will just take a little time to see real results. Next week my shoulder will feel a little better, next week my body adjust a little more to the sore muscles and the miles I’m putting on it, next week my stomach and metabolism will start to come to terms with the fact I’ve cut off the steady stream of red wine and potato chips. And maybe next week I’ll be writing more of these posts, but maybe by then they’ll be worth anyone’s time to read! That would be exciting!

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