Volkmer’s Mimes.

Volkmer’s Mimes

by james bezerra

 A not-even-that-remarkable typo triggered a somewhat unlikely series of events which ultimately resulted in Lieutenant Volkmer equipping a small army of mimes with black market weapons procured through his contacts in the Bulgarian dwarf mafia.

To his credit, Volkmer did his work diligently while simultaneously and quietly finding it to be ridiculous. His orders had been coded double black, so there was no appealing them. He decoded the order four separate times and then four more times just to be sure. Finally, confident he had transcribed it correctly, he sighed deeply in and out through his nose as he looked down at the order:

 Acquire approx 50 mimes, deployment ready. Await further instruction.

He was not a naturally social person and so he had not minded a posting as a NOC agent, operating outside of bureaucracy and traditional structure. He in fact prefered to be working alone, despite the unpleasant reality that NOC officers tended to be summarily executed when captured.

He looked at the order one more time, sighed one more time, then ripped the flashpaper page from his notepad, crumpled it into his own empty coffee mug and set it alight with a match. It went up so fast that the sizzle sound of the flame was audible for just a moment. He switched off the burst transmitter. Secured its water-tight case, wrapped it back in its fetid plastic bag. He lowered the bag back through the hole in the school’s septic tank, careful to tie the cord of the bag around the magnetic hook inside the tank. He sealed the tank closed and spent several minutes scrubbing his hands in the mop basin. Volkmer zipped his overalls back up and began to climb the stairs out of the basement. The school day was nearly over and soon there would be classrooms to clean.

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