Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Last Thoughts of Muammar Gaddafi.

I do not claim to have the ability to psychically retrieve thoughts and memories from dead bodies (although what a highly-rated & crappy television show would that be! Like Ghost Whisperer mixed with CSI or something! And I would solve mysteries!), however in this post I shall posit some guesses as to what the last thoughts of Muammar Gaddafi might have been:

“Where is my all-female bodyguard detail when I need them?! Probably doing their make-up!”

“Look I know you rebels are angry, but doesn’t killing me seem a bit harsh? Wait, what? I had your entire family murdered? Oh … sorry?”

“I hope that I look better than Saddam Hussein did when they pulled him out of that hole in the ground.”

“Any chance this whole ‘Libyan Revolution’ thing is a joke? Or like that thing in The Game where they weren’t actually trying to kill Michael Douglas? Man, that was such a good movie.”

“Sure, if they kill me I will get forty virgins, but as a batshit insane despot I’ve really grown accustomed to having fifty or sixty virgins ...”

“Dammit, if I had known today was going to go down this way I would have worn my other multicolored mumu/quasi-military uniform and matching hat.”

“This has been – like – the shittiest year of my life.”

“I hope that they don’t make this into an SNL sketch. That Fred Armisen is a jerk! I don’t even talk like that.”

“Well, at least I can finally meet Liberace. That guy was so stylish!”




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