Welcome Back to Standard Kink.

So this is my triumphant return to blogging.

“Return?” you ask, “Where did you go? Why did you leave us?”

Well, the truth is that I just went in circles, mostly. You see, Violet and I broke up. It is very sad and I am sad about it and I had actually been so sad that I couldn’t quite muster the whimsy that you have probably grown accustomed to. Here at Standard Kink the editorial staff works very hard to provide you with the finest off-kilter whimsy that you can find anywhere online.

In addition to whimsy we also like to be your go-to resource for zest, zeal, zip, vigor and verve.

And that just hasn’t been possible lately. Probably because I have been crying too much.

So – you are wondering now – what the fuck? Exactly?

Well, I will tell you.

I have moved across town to the high-density Mexican area called Newhall. I only mention that it is high-density Mexican because a lot of people think that this is a bad area, but – in fact – it is not. In fact! It is mostly families and I like to think that I am – in fact - the bad influence in the neighborhood. Also, I have a roommate, she is a friend from school and she has told me that she would like a fake blog name and thus far I have suggested “Starburst” and “Rainbow Fairy” but she has rejected both of those out-of-hand. She (along with me) graduated last month and she was also an English major, though she is a poet and therefore slightly inferior (I’m just saying). If you have any suggestions for her fake blog name, feel free to post them.

As soon as I find my camera (I think it is still in a box) I will post some pictures of the new place. It is just what I like: it is an older apartment complex (which means bigger rooms!) but it was recently remodeled (which means pretty!). It has hardwood floors the color of straw and one of the strangest coat closets that I have ever seen. It has a small dining room that fits my table like a glove (that’s where I am sitting right now!). I have a big bedroom and a lot of floor space and lots of room for books, but I have almost no book shelves, so the books are just stacked along the walls. It creates a wonderful ring-around-the-tub-but-with-books effect and part of me just wants to leave it this way. You can all come over and lay on my floor and touch all of my books with your fingers.

Otherwise, I have been writing just a little bit lately and you will find all of that stuff below. Lots of bad poems, a regrettably bad short story, a Lady Gaga video, some thoughts about accountancy and also Kevin Costner. Some other stuff too.

As far as the future is concerned, you should be prepared for exponential growth in the number of incomprehensible and scatological posts. I fear that it was Violet who encouraged me to be comprehendible, so maybe while visiting this blog you will get to witness my implosion into Burroughs-esque flights of masturbatory-ly imagistic abstraction (I fear you are witnessing such a thing right now) or, who knows, maybe I will just become even more cloying and lame. Let us hope not. I think that life is going to get strange and lonely and also kind of interesting.

Anyway, welcome to Standard Kink, I am glad to be back and I am glad that you are here.

Now please enjoy some regrettably bad writing.


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