Sunday, February 26, 2012


Hey, I was just thinking, wouldn’t it be weird if – when your band chooses a name – you all suddenly adopt the physical traits implied by the name? That would be strange, right?

All the members of Radiohead instantly develop radios for heads! And then conversations like this one might ensue:

INT. Two women are waiting in an airport security line.

WOMAN 1: Hey look over there! See those guys getting felt up by the TSA? Those are the members of Radiohead!

WOMAN 2: Are you sure? How do you know?

WOMAN 1: Because they have fricken’ radios for heads … come on, keep up. Seriously.

Just think of all the fun and chaos!

The Shins? Just giant man-sized shins with mouths. The Rolling Stones? You guessed it … giant stones, which roll (though now days they don’t roll so much as get rolled around by their live-in nurse maids). The Pixies? Yep, they turn into pixies (How funny would it be to watch Frank Black sing “Wave of Mutilation” when he’s four inches tall and leaking magical dust on everything?).

Although, the obvious and inevitable result of living in a world where such transformations are possible based on the name of the band you’re in would be that every single group of high school dudes who form a band will call their band “Really Big Dicks”.

Although it would always be possible that the Universe might slake a terrible vengeance down upon them and instead of increasing the size of their genitals it might just choose to turn them into BMW-driving Republicans (Hahahahahahaha! Sometimes I find myself hilarious … somebody has to.)


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