Saturday, March 7, 2009

Critical Theories Demystified

So I have had this thing banging around in my head because my brain works in such a way that I like to try to find connections between the subject matter of my various classes (one semester I was taking Anthropology and Statistics and I connected the shit out of those! I felt like I was discovering gravity). Well I recently read a bunch of the Jorge Luis Borges (this crazy bastard was so Method in the way he worked that he went blind while working as a librarian, which is perfectly funny if you are familiar with the dry irony of his writing). I am also suffering through a critical theories of literature class (it is interesting but DENSE). Anywhoo … here is the result (which is certainly only funny to me):

Aristotle reads Jorge Luis Borges:

What the fuck is this?

Immanuel Kant reads Jorge Luis Borges:

I have no fucking idea why I like this.

Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel reads Jorge Luis Borges:

This fucking guy isn’t German, is he?

Jorge Luis Borges reads Jorge Luis Borges:
What the fuck do you guys not get?

(Just as a post-script, I know that writing something this masturbatoryly intellectual totally makes me into the kind of person that I always bitch about [Like the guy in one of my classes who finds everything ‘metonymic ‘. I always want to say: Hey asshole, lend me your ear for a second. You are a douche bag!] I guess now I should just buy a BMW and start wearing necklaces from American Eagle with bottle openers on them and decorating my apartment with hand-blown glass bongs and working on my spec script exclusively in coffee shops.)

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