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Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Is there a doctor in the house?
Am I the only guy who wished that Dr. Seuss was still around when a guy named Barack Obama meets a guy names Hu Jintao and they talk about the Dalai Lama?
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Scarlett Fever.
Since it has been awhile, here is a picture of Scarlett Johansson (who is madly in love with me).
Songs For My Band's Next Album.
As you may well know, I keep a running list of song titles for my (not real) band’s next album. I’m often coming across great little phrases and while I have no intention (or ability) to write any of these songs, I am more than happy to list their names.
Oh, just an FYI for all of our fans, I have been able to convince two actual people from school to be in the fake band! Big awesome to David and George! David is going to play the drums and George is going to play on the internet during our shows. So far it looks like, in addition to coming up with song titles, I will also be playing my variable speed blender. Yeah, we’re that kind of band. We’re like Beck used to be, only more so.
The titles:
Turn Her Brights Full On Me
Try the Albacore Tempura Rolls
The State of Hip Hop in Armenia
Finger Prints Grow Back
God is Not a Wishing Well
Angry, Homeless Hurricane Bees are Pissed
This is for the Girl with All the Problems
Jews of the Chocolate Trail
The Master of Sonorous Prose
The Greatest Romancer of the Machine
Chronic Sense of Cultural Inferiority
The Pulse in Her Bones
The Whole Galactical Thing
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Oh, just an FYI for all of our fans, I have been able to convince two actual people from school to be in the fake band! Big awesome to David and George! David is going to play the drums and George is going to play on the internet during our shows. So far it looks like, in addition to coming up with song titles, I will also be playing my variable speed blender. Yeah, we’re that kind of band. We’re like Beck used to be, only more so.
The titles:
Turn Her Brights Full On Me
Try the Albacore Tempura Rolls
The State of Hip Hop in Armenia
Finger Prints Grow Back
God is Not a Wishing Well
Angry, Homeless Hurricane Bees are Pissed
This is for the Girl with All the Problems
Jews of the Chocolate Trail
The Master of Sonorous Prose
The Greatest Romancer of the Machine
Chronic Sense of Cultural Inferiority
The Pulse in Her Bones
The Whole Galactical Thing
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Fun With Fotos.
See, it is funny because this picture makes it look like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s head is on Violet’s body!
It’s not, she’s just reading a magazine.
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Note to Self ...
This is a note to me because I am always forgetting: that wine that Ariela always has is called Bartenura Moscato. It comes in that pretty blue bottle with a picture of Italy on it and it is wonderful. It is like wood nymphs made wine by squeezing all the juice out of magical fairies.
Life + Insurance = Funny
So at work today I learned that our company funded life insurance is voided by, among other things, “Active participation in a riot.”
When I asked the insurance lady how they would know if I was actively participating in the riot, she seemed a little flummoxed, but then politely responded that the medical examiner would be able to determine that. I think that that is probably a pretty standard answer if you are the life insurance lady, which has got to be kind of strange for her. Also, it plays into the weird idea that CSI has given us that these forensics people can figure anything out, which I’m pretty sure is untrue. Because they haven’t caught Dexter yet. Although, since Dexter is one of the forensics people he knows what to do and not do.
You know what else would void my health insurance? If my death resulted from, “War, declared or undeclared, or any act of war.”
And don’t even get me started on the stipulations about suicide. According to the literature, they will pay some portion of the life insurance if you’re a suicide, but only if the event takes place more than one year after enrolling. So I guess the expectation is that if you sign up for life insurance because you are planning to kill yourself, then maybe after a year you will have thought it over a little more?
Anyway, good times.
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When I asked the insurance lady how they would know if I was actively participating in the riot, she seemed a little flummoxed, but then politely responded that the medical examiner would be able to determine that. I think that that is probably a pretty standard answer if you are the life insurance lady, which has got to be kind of strange for her. Also, it plays into the weird idea that CSI has given us that these forensics people can figure anything out, which I’m pretty sure is untrue. Because they haven’t caught Dexter yet. Although, since Dexter is one of the forensics people he knows what to do and not do.
You know what else would void my health insurance? If my death resulted from, “War, declared or undeclared, or any act of war.”
And don’t even get me started on the stipulations about suicide. According to the literature, they will pay some portion of the life insurance if you’re a suicide, but only if the event takes place more than one year after enrolling. So I guess the expectation is that if you sign up for life insurance because you are planning to kill yourself, then maybe after a year you will have thought it over a little more?
Anyway, good times.
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You got a problem?
I’m so excited! Right now I am downloading a new driver so that my scanner will work and then I can start scanning stuff for you to read on my blog! All my doodles and pictures and drawings and scribbles and stuff!
My life is very eventful and awesome!
(Look it was a really stressful day today, alright? Sometimes a guy just wants to have a beer and blog about the software he is downloading. You got a problem with that?)
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My life is very eventful and awesome!
(Look it was a really stressful day today, alright? Sometimes a guy just wants to have a beer and blog about the software he is downloading. You got a problem with that?)
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Girl with Monet.
Here is an old picture of Violet standing in front of a Monet. This is at the Met in NY.
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Monday, November 16, 2009
When Ugly is Kind of Awesome.
I love articles like this:
The world’s ugliest buildings!
I like to look at these buildings and imagine what the world would look like if all buildings looked like these.
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The world’s ugliest buildings!
I like to look at these buildings and imagine what the world would look like if all buildings looked like these.
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Sunday, November 1, 2009
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