Awesome@bloodlotus.org

My very brief short story is up at BloodLotus.org

It is the one that is awesome!

My Poor Blog

Oh my poor, sad, and neglected blog. How I miss you so.

Perhaps when this tilt-a-whirl schedule of school and work and writing and driving and reading and annotating finds some sort of balance, perhaps then I can return to you.

I have so much to tell you and so much about which I would like to chat.

But for now, dear blog, just know that you are in my thoughts and that my fondest hopes for the future do, in fact, include you.

Don't Steal My Idea!

So the Public server is down at work and since that’s where all of my work lives, I have nothing to do right now. The whole office is checking email (and updating blogs).

So I thought that now might be a good time to discuss an idea that has been rattling around in my brain.

I think that there is a great children’s story to be had in the automatic flushing toilets that are so common now.

I think that instead of there being a bunch of fancy-pants electronics in that little hub, there is – in fact! – a small team of tiny Toilet Gnomes living inside. Their whole purpose in life is to watch out of that tinted sensor window and wait for the appropriate time to trigger the flushing valve. I think that they consider themselves to be like high priests and they take themselves very seriously.

Then there is some sort of … oh, I don’t know, inciting incident maybe, that kicks off some sort of Tolken-esque adventure into the human world. And in the process of adventuring (maybe they need to find a new rubber O-ring or something) they learn not to take themselves so seriously. Perhaps they learn that a job is just a job.
I don’t know, what do you think?

I think it smells like awesome! Anybody? Anybody?

Rachel Maddow's Computer

Rachel Maddow was just on the Daily Show and she referred to her computer as "the internet machine".

I just think that's funny.

Man, she rocks.

How Does the Devil Dress?

So when we were eating dinner, Violet tuned the TV over to “The Devil Wears Prada” on FX and so I have been half watching it while I send some emails and stuff.

But then Violet left to go do something else, elsewhere, and I just realized that I’m a fully grown man who is pushing thirty and I’ve been sitting here watching this movie all by myself for quite some time now and totally enjoying it.

What the fuck is going on with my life?

Oh and BTW, does anyone watch this show “Damamges” on FX? I have not seen it. I always meant to, I just never got to it. The point is, I swear to god that the guy that came up with that show totally ripped off “The Devil Wears Prada” and just made it about lawyers and added some death and some Ted Danson.

Oh, Ted Danson is awesome BTW. Did you know that he gave money to the movie?

What?

You didn’t?

The Director’s Ex-Girlfriend (who is a producer on the movie) bumped into him and hit him up for like three hundred bucks! Rock on Liz.

But that was like two years ago.

What? You didn’t know I wrote a movie?

I totally did. Visit the website:

Strange Angel

Email The Director and tell him to finish the damn edit already!

Anyway.

So did I distract your attention from the fact I’m a grown man watching a movie about the crazily Machiavellian world of New York fashionistas?

Gettin' All Publish-ed

Ladies and gentleman!

I am getting a short story published on an online journal called BloodLotus.

I don’t know when it will be up, but I will post when I know.

But its not like it matters, since my Mom doesn’t even read my blog.

But I will not become one of those people who cries about how no one is interested in the crap that they say on their blog. The entire reason that your friends encouraged you to get a blog is because they were tired of listening to you talk about inanity.

Or, anyway, that’s what Violet always says to me.

Whatever.

Visit BloodLotus!

Math + Superiority

Violet suggested that I get this shirt, because she knows that I am a superior son’bitch but that I also like it when math is used in a non-math way.



Anywhoo.

This is totally funny, right?

The guys that make this stuff are some funny bastards.


More DespairWear

Cool Backpack

Look how cool this backpack is!

I'm going to go find out more about it!

Stay tuned.

USB Oil Burner

Question: How cool (and kinda dumb) is this thing?

Answer: Very Cool (and very kinda dumb).

What is that you say? You would like a T-Shirt that you can play like a drumset? Well I don't know if they make such a thing ... oh wait, there it is!



Or how about a shirt that detects WiFi signals?




Or maybe what you really need is a shirt that plays the soundtrack of your life as you wear it! You know you want to click the link. You know you do. Click it. Go on, I won't tell.
You can do it.

For these, or other pieces of mindblowingly ingenius crap, visit thinkgeek